The night was long. This day would be longer. I had slept alone that night. He left I was alone.

Where did he go? A hotel perhaps? Or was there someone else he was running to?

This was the logical and first question when being hit over the head by a two by four.

That is what it felt like. What did I do to deserve this treatment? I was a good wife and supporter and great mother. I didn’t drink, smoke, use drugs or cheat on anyone. Aren’t these the typical reasons for leaving someone. There was none of this. We never fought, we had a comfortable and loving life. So I thought.

There had to be another party in this scenario pulling his strings in her direction.

Those proverbial strings that are titillating and salacious. He was a man after all and the testosterone seems to overpower everything comprehensible. He couldn’t be in love with someone else. It had to be LUST and the sexual energy pulling this man who I thought was so honest and ¬†trustworthy.

The anxiety within my gut rose to levels unimaginable. That heart pounding fear of not knowing nor having control over any of this left me nauseous. I was now being punched in the gut over and over again. I was scared.